STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
