Me too!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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