Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
