people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Randomize
