We won't sleep together?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
