now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
