This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
