Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
