Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
