we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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