i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
