so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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