i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
