this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
