But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
