Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
