I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
