Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
