Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And then he peed in my hair
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