Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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