i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
