Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
