I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
