make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
