So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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