when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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