12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
