dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
