Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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