check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
