If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
