I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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