people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
