This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
