are you still at the devil's house?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
