I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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