Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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