Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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