sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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