It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
