i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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