Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
