No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
