Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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