After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
