Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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