that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
