I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We named our party play list daddy issues
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
