Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
