He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
