The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
