I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize