I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
