Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
