Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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