Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I am available for nakedness
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
